A very sad thing happened the other day. Our good friend, Curtis's sister passed away. She was in her mid 30s and has 3 little kids (all under 5). What a long, curvy, bumpy, crazy road her husband will be on now. I can't imagine if I was gone one day. Dan would have no clue about anything to do with the kids or the house. Things like where the kid's bathing suits are, what kind of cereal the kids like for breakfast, size Rachie's diapers are, who gets the green sponge and who gets the purple one in the tub, where the spare lightbulbs are, what meat is in the bottom of the freezer... why the hell I needed so many books i never read, scrapbook supplies and fabric I've never used.. (hmmm, maybe I should cut back on buying/stockpiling and up the crafting/quilting/reading time) Let alone having to deal with a toddler who always asks for momma, or a baby who never knew momma... SO SAD.
A few years ago my friend's fiance was killed. Since then, I've half expected Dan to die. I guess the reality of such a terrible thing happening made it real and possible (not just something that happens to other people). It's a fear that is always in the back of my mind, often bringing me to tears on nights he forgets to call when away. How would I ever survive without him? When Dan's Grandpa passed away, his grandma was helpless - there was so many things that she'd never had to do. (pay a bill, adjust the thermostat, mow the grass) Dan has told me that he doesn't want me to be like that if he's ever not around, so we try to make decisions together and he encourages me to think for myself and do things on my own before relying on him to do it.
Maybe I need to start making him more independent with the kids stuff - just incase I'm ever not available. :(
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